4 posts tagged “egyptian”

I was sitting with my old friends from college: B and M. We were in
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, one of the many fashionable coffeeshops
dotting Cairo's well-off spots. M was in mid-story.

He was at a scientific conference in Canada and he'd run into our old
colleague, T. T's mother is Russian, his father is Egyptian; his full
name is very Muslim. M approached T to chat; T's name label said he
worked as faculty in one of the US's better universities. M spoke to
T directly in Arabic. To his surprise, T pretended he did not speak a
word of Arabic, had never been to Egypt, and was, apparently, a
Russian-American. M would not stand for it, but T was pleasantly
adamant, so M left.

Later, T is approached by D, a girl who also used to be in the same
circles back in Cairo. T spoke with her in Arabic. Spotting this, M
did not let it slip. He went right back to T, said hello to D, and
now confronted T. How come he could now speak Arabic? Red-faced,
T claimed he suffered from Alzheimer's and tried to pretend like
he suddenly remembered everything.

At this point, both myself and B said in unison: "if he doesn't want
us, we don't want him". We were so angry.

M went on to say that he'd researched T's web page and found that T
had written Egypt out of his CV. T claimed going to schools in
Russia, university in Russia, and to speak only his mother tongue:
Russian. We were just appalled.

B was reminded of when he used to go out dancing in various parts of
the world: his Lebanese friend would call himself Juan or Antonio and
claim to be Cuban. B told us he never hesitated to give his full
Muslim name and say he is Egyptian. And if the girls were not
going to like him, well they can go to hell.

In Egypt, everybody agrees that the country's system of government is
stagnant, that change is needed, that it will take a long time to
come, and a long time to really change things, that everybody's
meanwhile looking after themselves, and that most people
understandably want to go abroad and earn a decent living. But like
the Irish and the Italians who emigrated to the US because they had
to, loyalty to the motherland is beyond dispute.

A taxi driver, a man I have no qualms about describing as simple and
not particularly knowledgeable of world affairs, was telling me about
his Saudi Arabian passenger. The Saudi passenger got a bit lippy
about Egypt: crowded, some people are unscrupulous, disorganised,
etc. The taxi driver told him: "Your country may be wealthy now, but
it was not too long ago when you awaited our largesse. It used to be
that Egypt was the centre of the world, and the day will come again
when it returns there." The Saudi passenger replied: "I hope this day
never comes." The taxi driver pulled over and told him to get out.

Wealth manifests itself in pockets of exclusive communities around
Cairo. Villas with pools and landscaped gardens go at $3-4 million a
pop. And they go! Much to the amazement of the masses, some people
have the money to buy this stuff. This ostentatious wealth was never
part of modern Egypt; you heard of it in Johannesburg and Rio De
Janeiro but never saw it in Egypt. It is here now.

There's a 1-3% slice of the population that has deep pockets and they
are a far way from the 10-20% middle class who are in turn a safe
distance from the common folk. The 'supers' are businessmen,
entertainment folk, emigrees with second homes in Egypt, highly
successful doctors, international expatriates, etc. But the young
graduates all want a piece of the action.

Some "just know" they will have their own $3 million villa one day;
some have already figured out that they will only ever be spectators,
and they are deeply resentful. They are 'dislocated' from the
country; they want to get the hell out. They hope that 'abroad'
(Dubai, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Europe, Canada, etc) they will have a
fair chance at living a civilised life.

Naguib Sawiris is the only Egyptian in the world's list of
multi-billionaires. He sits atop an empire that owns a huge mobile
telecoms operator, a construction company, and a zillion other
ventures. He wields significant influence in the world of
international telecommunications. A proud Egyptian Christian (a
Copt), well-spoken in both Arabic and English, and obviously
intelligent, he seems to be one of the few voices radiating optimism
about the future of the country.

He owns a satellite television channel (OTV) that is distinctly
Egyptian, youthful, and very well-funded. His business empire
recently acquired five IT companies (some of which were Indian),
which it is proceeding to unify and run out of Cairo. They are not
quite taking on the Indians in the out-sourcing business, but they
reckon there is enough spare business around to keep them happy.
Their main problem is they want more talent out of Egyptian
graduates.

Usually the problem in Egypt is unemployment, but the Sawiris people
have the jobs, they have the salaries, they just can't find the boys
and girls with the adequate skill sets! So, they have started their
Orascom Academy to retool the kids for the 21st century. It is
typical of Sawiris mentality: rise to the occasion and find
solutions.

Sawiris bravely went for the Iraqi telecoms market when no one in
their right minds wanted to do business there. He lost out on that
one: they pulled out a year later; but it is indicative of his
mind-set. But, still, his example is misleading.

Watching this polished, smart doer of a man, one can easily forget
the realities. I cannot compare this man to the Google founders, or
to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. This man never invented or innovated
anything. Most of his business ideas were imitations of foreign ideas
in the Egyptian market.

After spotting business opportunity, Sawiris had the means (through
his second-generation-businessmen family connections) to go for them.
Yes, Sawiris towers over the other local businessmen; they did not
pursue opportunities with the same hunger and creativity as he.
Nevertheless, all of them, every single one of them, is nothing more
than an entrepreneur who saw opportunity and had the wherewithal to
draw on it.

None of these guys, I think, will ever change the way people across
the world lead their lives. To bring a mobile network to an African
country, is not the same quality achievement as developing the mobile
itself.

It seems the coterie of very rich businessmen and elite media
personalities are part of the same circus. They sit on various
television stations talking in urbane Egyptian dialect, alternating
between gentle and sarcastic humour, telling amusing anecdotes,
sending their children to international, private schools and then to
private universities (either in Egypt or abroad), they get their kids
jobs in their own field, and they all hang out in exclusive gated
communities. Then they lament that Egypt is changing and their kids
are not going to be the same Egyptians they once were!

They sit as if in a castle surrounded by a very wide moat (hat-tip to
shehab). The locals are watching the elites through the windows of
the castle and wondering how on earth to cross, or as may happen,
storm, the moat. Meanwhile you park your car and the 'menady' (the
guy who helps you, uninvited, to park) chases after you: "One pound
more, sir. What difference will a pound make to you!" His job is not
proper, your tip is voluntary, but he has mistaken you for one of the
guys who lives in the castle. After all, you drive a car and you are
going inside the city's premier mall!

Stuff that connects with people, stuff that leaves a mark on people's
lives, is stuff that is (i) realistic, (ii) resonates emotionally,
(iii) simple and relevant.

Writing coaches tell us that if you have the characters sorted,
everything else is. Great writers depict memorable characters and
then they put them in situations that test them. Anne Tyler once said
that the bulk of her work is done when she's figured out the
characters. Afterwards, she queries them and follows them around.

Comedy is a strange beast because it can be nothing more than
one-liners and funny faces. But it could also be a lot more.

Logan Murray teaches that just as the poet sees a problem, observes
something, and finds the words to paint a picture of it, a comedian
finds the joke in the observation. A comedian's solution to a problem
is to find the funny in it.

But the great poets do not just paint pictures, they paint pictures
of how they feel about something. Likewise, great comedians find the
funny in how they feel about something. I find both mediums equally
powerful and remarkable.

The poet makes us go "mmm, how true, how apt, i never saw it that way".
The comedian makes us go "hahaha, how funny, i never saw it that way".
Poetry is about emotion, truth, resonance; comedy is about impulsiveness,
playfulness, deliberate stupidity.

I think both mediums stay with us. Everytime I go inside an aeroplane
loo, I remember Jerry Seinfeld's: "you lock the door behind you, and
the lights turn on, it's like someone's throwing you a surprise
birthday party". Saeed Saleh's line in Madrasit el-Moshaghbeen about
the lebanese school curriculum: "It's so easy. you tell the
curriculum come here, it comes. Not like our impossible curriculum"
(using curriculum as code for girls), that's a line that has been
passed down generations.

The new development on Egyptian TV over the last year has been a
preponderance of sitcoms. We're talking a dozen sitcoms. This is a
brand new format in the Arab world. Now we have Tamer & Shew'eya
(he's posh, she's slummy); a doctors' clinic involving an
incorrigible central character; a husband who lives with six women
(wife, sister, mother, mother-in-law, daughter, ...), and many more.

They mostly don't work. Because the writers have not matured enough
to generate the stuff that connects and leaves a mark with people.
But everyone agrees that it is a question of time before a critical
point is reached, and a killer sitcom comes around. More importantly,
these mediocre sitcoms are actually popular! People are perfectly
happy with caricature, one-liners, and funny faces.

I have been circulating a story that was told to me barely a few days ago.  It concerns an old college friend, who had a brilliant academic reputation, and his return to Egypt. 

Mr A - let's call him - obtains his PhD from an Ivy League university, having worked with a very prominent professor in his field, having published in distinguished journals, and having finished reasonably quickly.  He gets a research job in a top US firm and quickly climbs to a team leader position, having obtained recognition for his brilliance.  Come 9/11 and things change.  He is being doubted; he feels betrayed, uncomfortable.  He packs up and returns to Egypt.  He goes to the Dean of the College we studied at - a fiery, burly professor who once taught me - and asks to be reinstated in his job as faculty staff. 

"But we have been sending you letters asking you to return to your job, having finished your PhD, and you've ignored us.  It's been two years since you were fired," says the Dean.  Dr A says he didn't like his treatment in the US, and now he knows the value of his country.  Hearing this, the Dean orders his secretary to bring in a new contract to reinstate Dr A - an extraordinary measure.  Normally, it would take many complaints, many exchanged correspondences, many months, for that possibility to happen.  But here now was the contract, offered again as if nothing had happened.

"You are a top guy with a distinguished record, and we would be happy to have you back", said the Dean.  Dr A looks at the contract and then looks up at the moustachioed professor renowned for his aggressive comebacks; he asks for a few days to think it over.  The Dean is shocked.  Within a minute, he's shouting at Dr A:  "Get out!"  He is not calm again until Dr A has left his office.

Dr A disappears; and nothing has been heard of him since.  Although we do know he is back in the States.

What I love about this story is that it is funny.  But equally I find it interesting that every single person I told this story to here in Cairo gave the same response: "Correct", "Bravo", "Good on the Dean"!!!